Ok, we are finally at that point where excitement meets anxiety and we all know which corner wins. It's less than a week from Christmas and if shopping is not complete, well, it's time to finish it. Gift cards...easy...random seasonal gift at CVS or Walgreens...check. They'll never know it was last minute.
Aunt: Wow...a gift card to Bass Pro Shops.
Me: Heck yeah! They sell turduckens there!
Christmas Day can be daunting. Early wake up call, especially with kids, family gatherings, false energy, no naps, etc. The list could go on and on. So without further ado, here are some tips to get through the big day. By tips, I men beverages.
Wake Up: Greyhound. What better way to wake up at 6:00 on a mandatory federal holiday than grapefruit juice and vodka? First off, grapefruit juice is Black Crowes hard to handle so you get the tartness on your tongue to face the mounds of gift wrap on the floor. Vodka...no smell. WIN.
Post gift opening: Coffee - Irish or mixed with Adult Chocolate Milk. Yes it is counter-intuitive to have uppers and downers in the same mug, but it will keep you level. At least that's what Barney told me from Springfield.
Post-shower / Pre-gathering: Water. 12 oz.
Family gathering: This will depend on the number of gatherings scheduled for the day, but here is a template:
1st - Egg Nog
2nd - Celebratory shot of at least 80 proof liquor with out of town family members
3rd - Wine with dinner
4th - Random dessert drink, most likely scotch or peppermint schnapps that someone finds in the back of the liquor cabinet
5th - Water...lots of water
There you have it. This will allow for maximum enjoyment.
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